Tuesday, March 10, 2015

The Four (Five) Agreements Installment 3 of 5

My sincere apologies for not having written this, as promised the next day after Installment 2--sometimes life gets in the way of living! As the old saying goes, "THe best laid plans of mice and men often go awry."

I have just had a lot on mind, much going on in my family and life and knitting and Family Farm Seaside have been mine distractions when not working on a pair of moccasins.

Now, on to the Third Agreement--

" Don’t make assumptions Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life."

Oh how true! How many times have you been in a pickle because someone assumed you were going to finish a sentence with something way off from what you were actually going to say? Or someone assumed your intentions instead of listening to what you spoke as your intentions?

Think about those situations. Were feelings hurt?

Now, think about the hurt feelings that have you caused by assuming.

Here is an aspect we often don't think about assumptions-we, as humans, place others in the position where they are are almost forced (they still have to decide to assume) because we did/do not speak or communicate what we want or need.

Mothers-we assume that the people in our lives-mother, mother-in-law, grandmothers, friends, siblings, spouse KNOW we need a break from the children. We never speak up. We self-talk ourselves into believing they all know and they should offer to take the children off our hands for a couple hours. They don't. We fume.

Better solution-speak up. Tell them you need a few hours alone to re-group. Then ask, "Can you please watch the children for me on Tuesday afternoon?" or "Honey, will you spend a few hours playing games with the children or watching a movie tonight? I just need a couple hours for me."

I have always been a firm believer in asking questions. My Daddy used to tell me, "ASK! All they can do is say is yes or no, they can't eat you for supper."

"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:" (Mat 7:7 KJV)
"For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened." (Mat 7:8 KJV)

"And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you." (Luk 11:9 KJV)
"For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened." (Luk 11:10 KJV)