Tolerance vs. Acceptance

This has actually been a long time coming. For many years I have been against tolerance.

Yes, heard the collective drawing in of everyone's breath. Please, let me explain.

Tolerance is defined as:

1:  capacity to endure pain or hardship :  endurance, fortitude, stamina

2
a :  sympathy or indulgence for beliefs or practices differing from or conflicting with one's own

b :  the act of allowing something :  toleration

Yes, this can be good. What the dictionary doesn't explain to us, is the social implications of the word. Socially tolerate conjures images of putting up with, enduring something we do not want to endure. It projects an image of, "Well, I'll tolerate this for the rest of this event." or "OMG! WHY!?"

Acceptance is defined as:

1

:  an agreeing either expressly or by conduct to the act or offer of another so that a contract is concluded and the parties become legally bound2
:  the quality or state of being accepted or acceptable3
:  the act of accepting :  the fact of being accepted :  approval

Acceptance is well, just that-acceptance.

Ask yourself, would you rather be tolerated or accepted? 

When It Rains, It Pours

This was written 28 December 2000



WHY? We all ask this question a lot. Why, before we can work through one problem, does another (or several others) crop up?

Some say it is the Devil. To be glad that he is ‘after' you. If you were not serving God, Satan would have no need to be after you.

Others say it is God. He is ‘testing' your faith. Doesn't He already know all about your faith?

Some say it is God ‘whipping' you. That you are a dis-obedient child and He is lovingly trying to get you back ‘where you should be'.

Still others say it is just part of the fall from grace.

I am not sure which of these theories is correct, if any of them are. I know I have believed each and every one of them at some point in time.

It is not good to ask ‘Why?' sometimes.

Maybe there is truth in each of these theories.

Maybe one comes into play when the others do not.

I do know God said it would rain on the bad and the good.

Maybe this is one of those questions we are not to know the answer to.

People!?

This piece was written 13 January 2001



Why do others question your decisions in your walk with God?

Is it really their business? Do they make themselves feel better by making you feel belittled? Are they trying to get God to see your faults so maybe He will lay off them??

It is so frustrating to pray and seek God's will for a situation and He tells you to do 'A' when your heart is screaming to do 'B'. You know you must submit to His grace, justice and love and obey, but you still have to deal with fear and questions.

You do something, knowing it is what God wants you to do. Knowing He has a greater thing to accomplish and what happens--those He called before you to do this, those He wanted to do it in the first place--try to make you feel like a dog.

Think before you run from God's calling. When you refuse to obey, He has to get someone else to do it in your stead. Your disobedience does affect more than just you. You may protect yourself from some pain, but you may cause pain for others.

Family

This piece was written 16 January 2001


Is blood really thicker than water? We all grow up being told it is. We all want to believe we can count our family in times of trouble, but can we?

We go through rough times and if they are Christians they will say they are praying for us. Most likely they do. Some will pray fervently and not stop until they get that prayer through to the throne room. Others will say a quick, "God help them." if they think about it.

Pretty much like your friends, some are good time buddies and some are there through thick and thin, sick and sin.

Is it that they think your troubles will rub off and they'll have problems also? Do they not want to make a sacrifice of anything? Do they think God is chastising you? Are they surface Christians? Do they think the trial will make you stronger?

OR...

Do they know they are God's arms and legs here on earth? Do they know God never wants His children to suffer? Do they know God may be chastising you, but that He answers prayer and this could be the time you hit your knees?

The Bible says that in the end times families will turn on each other... Are we living in the end times???

Of Bibles, Books & Denominations

This is something I wrote on 26 February 2001. It was previously published on a no defunct website that paid per view.


We recently met a gentleman that is a wonderful person. At least we thought so. He offered to help us out with transportation problems, taking me places when David was at work and offering to sell us his extra vehicle. We helped him gather wood and offered to help him with any chores around his homestead.

He approached his church to take up a love offering and have a clothing drive for us. We knew nothing of this and of all things did not need any clothes. I have sent a pick up load to the local food bank that gives clothes also and plan on sending more! My husband wondered how to let this church know they were not buying our "membership".

This gentleman then proceeds to let us know that only, or at least mostly, his denomination was going to Heaven. Now, I've heard of this sort of thing before but never encountered it. My personal beliefs are that man and NOT God created the different denominations. Your Godly, Christian character, your heart, your relationship with God will determine your entrance into Heaven.

The next point was that only the 1611 King James Version of the Bible is the real Bible and anyone that has ‘funny' Bibles in there home is asking for demons to come torment, oppress, and possess them. That very Bible says to study to show thyself approved. As KJV was not translated from the original languages but from other ‘versions' and knowing that something is lost in translating from one language to another, what is wrong with studying to show thyself approved?

Next came that only ‘church' is the correct place to worship God and gather with other believers. and that there has to be an ‘altar call' at each and every church service/gathering of believers. We have been fellowshipping with some Plain/Amish Christians. The Bible says not to forsake the gathering together of believers. In the early days of the Church, people met in each other's homes, caves, or wherever they could get together. Witnessing was done out. They went ‘out' to witness to those considered lost. If the altar call is to allow lost souls to pray for salvation, isn't it a moot thing if the gathering is of BELIEVERS?

God did not create the church building or denominations. He created us. He gave us His Son as atonement for our sins. He does not dictate that if you join one church or the other, that is the way to Heaven. He said we have to accept the offering of Jesus. We must confess to Him our sins. We are commanded to share the gospel with all we can.

Please, do not join the ranks of this man and loose sheep. My husband will not set foot in this particular church because of its views. My oldest daughter feels the same. My children had grown to love this gentleman and have now been hurt by him.

©Mary Ellen Harvley 2001
May not be copied or reproduced, in any way without prior permission from author.

My Pet Peeves as a Cashier

I work for a large retailer that I will not name. As the title of this blog post implies, I am a Cashier at this time. This is not my first job working with the public or with people, so these are not first timer problems. These are things I have watched for many years--31 to be exact as I began working when I was 13 (at the Dairy Queen in Greenwood, SC).

These are not presented in any order other than as they come to mind I will write/type them out and expound.

1. Getting in the checkout line while still on the phone. Cell phones can be a great thing or a bad thing. Staying on them while in a checkout line is a bad thing. You are on the phone and paying attention to the conversation and not to unloading the buggy, loading your bagged purchases or paying for for your purchases.

I see this hold up not only the person on the phone, but everyone in line behind them, on a daily basis.

People are talking or texting and literally stop in the middle of aisles, blocking the whole aisle off from both directions. Other people may need to look at or purchase something on that aisle.

People will be talking or texting and pushing their buggy and they run into other people, carts, even strollers with children in them!

And be forwarned--I am NOT referring to kids or teenagers but adults!

2. Turning the bag carousel while I have my hand and arm in a bag. It takes a time, not much, to properly bag your purchases. Note-the arms that hold the bags are heavy and metal. When I am actively bagging your purchases please do not grab the carousel and turn it--those metal bag holders leave bruises on my arms.

3. This relates to Number 2 above-complaining that I only put a few items in your bags when you were turning the carousel while I was trying to load each bag. If you are turning that carousel, I am going to move my arm out of harm's way asap.

4. Separating your non-food purchases from your Food Stamp (or whatever it is called in your state) purchases. Having two separate orders is needed at times, but not for this reason. We live in a technologically advanced era. The computer will separate your order into food stamp-able and non food stamp-able items on its own.

5. Trying to purchase items with food stamps that you know you can not buy with food stamps. This one is self-explanatory, but click here to be taken to the USDA web page explaining just what you can buy:

benefits can only be used for food and for plants and seeds to grow food for your household to eat. SNAP benefits cannot be used to buy:

Any nonfood item, such as pet foods; soaps, paper products, and household supplies; grooming items, toothpaste, and cosmetics

Alcoholic beverages and tobacco

Vitamins and medicines

Any food that will be eaten in the store

Hot foods

6. Not selecting the correct WIC items. Please, I know it gets confusing as the program changes so often. Your worker or nurse will give you a paper listing what foods are allowed. Most of you toss it away. Don't. Keep it. Read it. Glance over it before you go to in the store. Refer to it as you select your foods. Each time you go to pick up vouchers--ask for a new handout on what foods are allowed--if it has changed you will have the new one.

7. Not having your ID ready when you are purchasing alcoholic beverages or fussing at me for asking for it. This is law in Tennessee and has been since 1 July 2007. It only applies to the the retail sale of beer. It does not apply to bars and restaurants that sale alcohol for on-premises consumption. If you have a problem with this law, please do not fuss at me, throw your ID at me or demand I break the law. Please, be a good citizen, obey the law until it is changed and in the meantime, contact your state lawmakers with your desire to have the "Responsible Vendor Act" repealed.

8. Being impatient. Computers do not always work properly. When a store is busy, they do work slower--your computer at home gets slow sometimes so why do you expect other computers to never have a problem? You have days when you are slower have things on your mind. Why do you get so upset with another person for having to dig a little bit for the exact change or another dollar? I have noticed that the ones that complain the most about the previous customer being "so slow" usually end up holding the line up in some way themselves.

9. Trying to tell me something was marked down when you know it was not. Yes, things get moved around and put in the wrong places and things get priced wrong.Please do tell me and I will have it checked and do what store policy says do. But bringing a $50 item to the check-out and telling me it was on sale for $5 is not acceptable.

10. Putting items you have decided not to buy any where you are at the moment you decide not to buy it. Please, just hand it to the cashier so they can have it put back. this is especially true for frozen or refrigerated items. you wonder why prices are so high? Part of it is losses the stores must recover--when a hundred people place a pack of steaks under a box of candy bars at the register, that is about $1,000.00 lost. Multiply that by 365 and you can see a fraction of the loss from this type of thing happening.

Bottom line? Remember your basic manners when shopping. Be considerate of your fellow human beings. Think before you say or do something.