Living with Ankylosing Spondylitis: My Journey with Invisible Pain

 

Today, I want to talk about something deeply personal: ankylosing spondylitis (AS). It’s a type of arthritis that primarily affects the spine. In my case, the vertebrae in my spine are fusing together—that is what the “ankylosing” means. The result? Pain. Stiffness. And a very different way of moving through life.

AS doesn’t look the same for everyone. Some people experience little to no pain. For me, it comes in waves. I was diagnosed around 2008, after what we initially thought was just a pulled muscle. But the pain got worse—so bad at times that I would literally pass out from it.

I haven't had a severe flare since 2015, when a five-hour surgery forced me to lay flat on my back. That position triggered a brutal recurrence. Since then, I can't sleep on my back without days of lumbar spine pain.

My History with Treatment

Back in the day, opioid prescriptions were handed out like candy. I was told to take 4–5 opioid pills a day, along with very high doses of Gabapentin. I didn’t follow that plan exactly. I took the opioids at lower doses, three times a day at most, and they didn’t make me feel any kind of way—I was careful to use them only when I truly needed them. The Gabapentin, on the other hand, was prescribed at very high levels, but I found that much lower doses were enough to calm the neuropathies. Even so, it started affecting my memory, and some of those issues have lingered. I’m grateful I listened to my body and adjusted things, especially now that we know how dangerous and addictive some of those medications can be.

Now, things are more complicated. I take Xarelto for blood clot prevention, which means I can’t take NSAIDs. Tylenol is technically "safe," but for me, it might as well be a sugar pill—it does nothing.

Recent Flare and Modifications

For the past two weeks, I’ve been in a pretty severe flare. I don’t know what triggered it, but the pain hit hard. I had to adapt my surroundings. My bed is on a platform, which makes it easier to get in and out of—but it still requires sitting up and bending, which has been tough.

Blessedly, I found a lift chair recliner on Facebook Marketplace for just $25. My youngest son picked it up, and a friend helped fix the minor issue it had. It’s been a game changer. I can now recline and stand without straining my back.

I visited the doctor, got a steroid injection, and it helped quite a bit. I'm going for lower spine x-rays soon to assess how far the disease has progressed.

Other Symptoms: Vertigo and Neuropathy

On top of the spinal issues, I’ve been dealing with vertigo. When it hits, the room doesn’t spin—I just get deeply nauseous. Sometimes it feels like I’m standing sideways when I’m upright. I’ve avoided taking meds for it because they make me too sleepy. Instead, I use peppermint essential oil, which helps. I have little vials placed around my house—by my chair, bed, desk, kitchen, and bathroom.

Then there are the neuropathies. The extra bone growth from AS can trap or pinch nerves. Sometimes, it feels like my face is on fire. Other times it’s a burning hand, stabbing arm, or a foot that feels electrocuted. It’s unpredictable and exhausting.

I also have degenerative disc disease. The last time I was checked, I had two vertebrae with no disc left—just bone grinding on bone.

Living with Invisible Illness

Here’s the most important thing I want you to understand: This is an invisible illness. People look at me and maybe think I have bad posture. But it’s not just posture—it’s fused bones. I often stand or move in ways that minimize pain, even if they don’t look “normal.”

It’s not that I don’t want to do things. It’s that I can’t. Every day is a choice:

• Can I stand in the kitchen long enough to cook?
• Should I batch meals for the week or just try to get through today?
• Can I go to the store—or will I have to pay for delivery (which isn’t easy where I live)?

Even something like carrying groceries requires careful planning. Because of my aortic aneurysms and AS, I can’t lift over 10 pounds. I either use reusable bags with just a few items or get 10 plastic bags for 10 items.

Dog food? That’s another project. I can’t lift a 50-lb bag. So, I use a scoop and a wagon to move it bit by bit into bins and feeders. Friends and family help when they can—and I’m so grateful for them.

On Gratitude and Grace

Despite everything, I’m thankful. I’m thankful that I’m not in pain every single day. I’m thankful that I have support when I need it. And I’m thankful for the good days when the pain is manageable.

Generally, I live at a pain level of about 3-4 on a scale of 10. For the past couple of weeks, it’s been closer to 9. Thankfully, things are easing up after the injection—but it has affected my ability to work, especially my gig work and hustles. I’ve had to pause things like mystery shopping and inspection jobs that require driving or walking. Sitting has been unbearable and watching a computer screen

Please, Don’t Judge What You Can’t See

If you take nothing else from this, take this: Just because someone looks fine doesn’t mean they are. Your friend who used to be the life of the party? They still want to go. They just can’t.

Be kind. Be patient. Offer help when you can. And take care of your body. Stretch. Eat well. Go for walks. Hug your loved ones.

Because one day, you may find yourself facing invisible pain too.

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Want to Learn More?

Here are some resources I recommend:

• 💙 The Spoon Theory by Christine Miserandino – A great way to understand chronic illness and energy management
• 📘 Spondylitis Association of America – What is Ankylosing Spondylitis?

Should I Blog About Chronic Health Conditions? I’d Love Your Input.

 

Lately, I’ve been thinking about adding a new topic to this blog: chronic health conditions—specifically, the ones I live with.

No, I didn’t say suffer from. That’s important to me. I live with these conditions, I manage them, and while they affect my life, they don’t define it.

Here’s what I’m thinking, and I’d really appreciate your feedback:
Would you prefer that I write about each condition separately—maybe even create sub-blogs or categories for each? Or would you rather I focus more on how they all affect me together, as a whole, in daily life?

Because the truth is, that’s how I experience them. Not in neat little boxes. They overlap. One flares, and it triggers another. Some days are hard. But honestly? Most days, I get up, go about my life, and don’t even think about it until it’s time to take medication or supplements. Even then, it’s more like, “Oh yeah—I take this because it helps with that.”

So I’m considering a blend:

• Individual posts or sub-pages for each condition (for those looking for specific info or shared experience),

• And then main blog posts that talk about the big picture—what it’s like juggling them all, how I manage, what’s helped, what hasn’t.

Would that be helpful to you? Would you want to read it?

Please scroll down and drop a comment to let me know your thoughts.
I want this space to be supportive, informative, and real—and your input truly matters.

Thanks for being here. 💜

Working from Home Isn’t New — And It’s Not What You Think

 

Working from Home: The Truth Behind the Myths

One of the topics I’ve decided to feature regularly on my blog is working from home. It’s a subject surrounded by rumors, assumptions, and flat-out untruths — and I want to help clear some of that up.

For starters, work-from-home jobs aren’t new. I’ve known about them since at least the late 1970s. Back then, there were people working remotely in positions that required degrees, as well as entry-level opportunities. In fact, odds are good that you’ve spoken to someone working from home without even realizing it. Ever called a customer service line? Many of those agents have been working remotely for decades — long before COVID-19 made remote work a household term.

I personally know people who’ve built entire careers from home, whether out of preference, convenience, or necessity. Some parents work from home so one of them can always be there for the children. Others, like me and several of my friends, choose remote work as a full-time lifestyle. And for folks receiving disability benefits like SSI or SSDI, working from home is often the most practical option. (Yes — you can work while receiving disability, up to a certain limit that typically adjusts every January.)

And let's be honest — if anyone thinks they can live on under $1,000 a month in this economy, I'd love to know where that is, because I might just pack up and move there!

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The Financial Perks of Working From Home

One thing people often overlook is the financial advantage of working from home. Think about it:

• No daily commute eating up time, fuel, and wear and tear on your vehicle.

• No need for expensive work wardrobes.

• No daycare costs if you're able to arrange your schedule around your family.

Even if your hourly pay stays the same, your take-home pay increases because your expenses decrease.

If you work as an independent contractor, there are also potential tax deductions for your home office, equipment, and certain expenses. Plus, many remote positions come with flexible schedules, letting you arrange work around your life instead of your life around your job — and that’s a game-changer for your mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being.

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Yes — It’s Real Work

Another thing I want to be clear about: working from home is real work. You have duties, responsibilities, and expectations to meet, just like any other job. Failing to do so will cost you your position, whether you're an employee or a contractor. The idea that people who work from home are lazy or less productive is one of the biggest myths out there — and it’s just plain false.

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What’s Coming Next

In future posts, I’ll dive deeper into the different types of work-from-home opportunities, from employee positions with benefits to side gigs and freelance options. I’ll also share information about free or low-cost ways to expand your skills and education from home, which can open even more doors.

If you’ve got questions about working from home — whether it’s how to find a legit job, what to watch out for, or how to get started — drop them in the comments below. Who knows? Your question might just become the topic of my next post.

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Stay tuned — and remember, the freedom to work where you live isn’t just a pandemic trend. It’s a lifestyle that’s been quietly thriving for decades.

Life, Work, and Everything in Between: Welcome Back to My Blog

 

Welcome Back — I’m Blogging Again!

So as you can see, it’s been a while since I’ve written. Life has a way of getting in the way sometimes. But recently, I’ve been encouraged to start my blog up again. After thinking it over, I’ve decided to make a little time and work on doing just that.

At this point, I’m not putting myself or this blog into a box. I’ve always lived outside the box. When I wanted to raise animals and grow the majority of our own food, everyone told me I couldn’t do it — but we did. Maybe not as much as we could have, but we did it. And I’m going to do this too.

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What You’ll Find Here

This blog is going to be a mix of things:

• Personal stories

• Practical advice

• Ideas for surviving and thriving in today’s world

A lot of what we need to do isn’t necessarily new — it’s just that we may need to approach things differently now.

In the past, if we wanted extra income, we’d pick up side gigs: woodworking, welding, cleaning houses on the weekends, or babysitting for a neighbor. Those skills are still valuable, and if you have them, use them. But today, we also have new ways to work entirely from home, whether you’re entry-level or someone earning six figures a year. I’ll be sharing those newer opportunities too.

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Make Money, Save Money

I’ll be writing about ways to make money by saving money. I believe it was Benjamin Franklin who said, “A penny saved is a penny earned.” And he was right.

You’ll get a glimpse into how I save and make money on a daily, weekly, and yearly basis. And no — buying in bulk isn’t hoarding. That myth spread during COVID when people panicked. I was raised to leave a little for others, but if it’s the last day of a sale and your family needs it, it’s okay to pick up what you’ll use.

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Work-from-Home Ideas and Job Stacking

I’ll be sharing listings for places where you can work remotely, either as a 1099 contractor or a W-2 employee. Keep in mind, people’s experiences differ with these companies. Every supervisor has a different personality, so it’s good to stay open-minded.

I’ll also cover ways to expand your education at little to no cost and how to stack side jobs wisely. Now, let me be clear — I don’t advocate working multiple jobs at the exact same time while you’re on company clocks. You can’t give good service that way. I personally have three or four gigs when it’s not tax season, but I stagger them on different days or times.

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Put Yourself First

And here’s a reminder you’ll hear from me often: take care of yourself first.
You can’t take care of your family or give your best to your work if you’re running on empty. One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is to schedule the important stuff first — family, health, and personal time — and then schedule your work around those things. We have more flexibility now than ever before, and it’s time we started using it.

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Gardening, Meal Prep, and More

I’ll be sharing gardening tips, too. The way I garden may not work for you, and that’s okay. Soil, weather, and growing conditions vary — sometimes even within the same town. Take what works for you, and share your own tips in the comments to help others.

I’ll also talk about meal prepping — not necessarily cooking every meal for the week, but small things like chopping veggies ahead of time or marinating meat to save yourself time later. Little steps make a big difference.

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And There’s More to Come

I have so many other things I want to discuss here. From personal experiences and reflections to practical skills and resources for modern living, there’s a lot on my heart and mind that I want to share. Some topics will be lighthearted, others more serious — but all of it will be real, useful, and from my own journey.

If there’s anything you’d like me to write about, drop a comment below. I’d love to hear your ideas!

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YouTube Channel Revamp

And finally — I’m planning to revamp my YouTube channel. It won’t just be me this time; I’ll have guest speakers too. That project’s been in the works for about a month and a half. I move slow sometimes, but it’s coming.

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Thanks for being here — I’m looking forward to this next chapter. Stay tuned!

Seasonal Allergies

This post contains affiliate links.


As many of you do, I have seasonal allergies. Spring and Fall are actually my favorite seasons. The weather is just right for anything outdoors: camping, fishing, yard work, gardening, even good choring weather.

Unless--you have seasonal allergies! You know, stuffy nose, that creates a breeding ground for bacteria so you end up with a sinus infection. These things lead to just being so tired!

I have discovered some other things, not so limiting, that do help. 

1.  Cover your hair--Our fore parents covered their hair to keep it clean and to not have to wash it so often. Not a bad idea. But seriously, pollen gets in your hair and sticks to it and all the products in it. Then when you are sleeping, all that wallowing around in the arms of Morpheus, loosens up that pollen and you breathe it in. 

2.   Rinse your sinuses--Invest in a good sinus rinse device that you are comfortable with. I use the Neil-Med pictured below. I use the saline packets along with Alkolol. 

I rinse my sinuses at least twice daily during Spring and Fall. 

3.   Invest in a good diffuser--I use The Breeze, which can be purchased here. 

4.   Use the above noted diffuser. Mine runs almost 24/7! My personal base essential oil is eucalyptus. Other essential oils I add together or alone are peppermint, rosemary, spearmint, and/or lemon. 

Get Ready For Summer Fun--NATURALLY!

This post contains affiliate links.

Photo by Todd DeSantis on Unsplash

Summer is just around the corner and that means FUN IN THE SUN!!!

That also means, bumps, bug bites, sprains, scratches, sunburns, and all sorts of owies! Just goes with the territory.

So, I thought I would let you know my recommendations for an all-natural first-aid kit. 

Miracle Skin Salve from Beeyoutiful is awesome at promoting healing and restoration of all those little scratches and bug bites. It works for sunburn, chapped lips or skin, minor burns (if in doubt, please seek medical attention), cuts & abrasions, and so much more.

Ow! Ease I love this for sprains, strains, bruises, and so much more.

Activated Charcoal--

• Capsules--These are an easy way to swallow the charcoal for tummy upsets or for possible ingestion of poisons. Please call the Poison Control Control Center at 1-800-222-1222 before administering an antidote.
  This is also easy transportation for charcoal used externally. Just open a capsule to make a poultice for stings and rashes. There is an informative book, Charcoal Remedies, here. 
• You can also buy activated charcoal in larger sizes 10 ounces and one pound.

Shoo those pesky insects away!!!

• Jungle Fierce
• Bug Me Not

Essential Oils--

• Peppermint is a medicine chest of its own! It helps with tummy issues, headaches, motion sickness, nausea, and when mixed with a little water and spritzed on the body, it helps the cooling down process. 
• Lavender will help that over-excited child fall asleep, calm someone down after an injury, sooth the itching of bug bites. (Please remember to properly dilute in a carrier oil before applying to the skin. Beeyoutiful has this already diluted, in a roller ball.)
• Relieve It is a blend of essential oils that is the best thing going for instant, long-lasting relief of itching from insect bites. I have found it also works well for that itch that comes along as other owies are healing up. 
• Tea Tree Oil is a natural disinfectant. Keep it handy not only for cleaning wounds (never "neat" only properly diluted.) and for using to clean up around the campsite, boat, etc. 
• Chamomile is a soother, sleep aid safe for use on even small children (when diluted), aids digestion, good for skin care, relieves pain, reduces anger, helps depression. 
• Rose Geranium is a tick repellant. I apply it to pants hems, shirt hems, and sleeve hems. Just one drop in each place. It doesn't take much. This also gives the added benefit of aromatherapy of calming.
• You can obtain the Lavender, Tea Tree Oil and Chamomile essential oils, already diluted, in rollerballs here.
  

Don't forget plenty of fresh water and the aloe gel of your choice.

You simply must stay hydrated in the heat of summer. 

Aloe gel is a cooling (keep it in the ice chest) for those that are overheated or have gotten a touch of sunburn. 

Disclaimers: Nothing I have written here should be considered medical advice. Always, always consult your healthcare provider. 

These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.

Photo by Andrew Ruiz on Unsplash

MENOPAUSE-NATURALLY, WITH HELP

• Please note: This post contains affiliate links.

I can see the looks on your faces now.  How do you go through menopause, naturally, yet get "help" with it????

First of all, you educate yourself. Talk to your friends and family, including the males. They have been observers of their female loved ones going through. Also, research for yourself. I highly recommend "What Your Doctor May NOT Tell You About Premenopause". Did you know premenopause to menopause to final menstrual period can actually take a decade or longer?

Get tested for hormone levels. Balancing those hormones can be such a relief throughout our lives, but especially when menopause is in process. Your doctor, health department, or even an online lab such as:

• My Med Lab
• Health Labs
• Labs MD

Thee are many others out there. Please check the lab you choose out. Read reviews. Check for BBB complaints. Check with your state licensing office.

Some herbs that are reputed to assist are:

Dong Quai(Angelica sinensis)--this herb is well known to practitioners of Chinese Medicine and is used around the world. Some of the conditions it is used for are: women's health, cardiovascular conditions, osteoarthrosis, inflammation, headache, infections, mild anemia, fatigue and high blood pressure. You can start your own research here. 

Licorice Root(Glycyrrhiza glabra, Glycyrrhiza uralensis) is reputed to relieve the duration but not the intensity of hot flashes. Compounds in licorice root can bind to estrogen receptors-most menopausal women have low estrogen levels. You can begin your research here.

Black Cohosh (Actaea racemosa or Cimicifuga racemosa) has proven effective for relief of hot flashes, reducing both the severity and number of them. It also has compounds that bind to your estrogen receptors. Begin your research here. 

Damiana Leaves (Turnera diffusa) has been shown to increase blood flow to the reproductive organs, to boost your overall mood, and to have hormonal balancing effects. You can begin your own research here. Purchase here. 

Alfalfa Leaves (Medicago sativa) Another source of compounds that can bind to your estrogen receptors thereby giving relief to hot flashes and night sweats. You can begin your own research here. 

Vitex (V. agnus castus) supports the endocrine system so that it can balance itself naturally. You can begin your own research here. 


I also suggest the following natural products:

• Beeyoutiful Balance progesterone cream is specially formulated to help women's bodies achieve hormonal balance.
• Evening Primrose Oil Encourages hormonal balance
• Vitex w/ Dong Quai Get all the benefits of both herbs. 
• ProMiSe Essential Oil Blend a unique combination of pure essential oils designed specifically to support women when their hormonal health is disrupting their lives.

The bottom line is, peri-menopause and menopause can be disrupting to our lives but they are transitionary periods of time in our lives.

Seek advice. Do your own research. And enjoy being woman!

Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash

Elderberry Syrup

• Please note: This post contains affiliate links.

I recently heard about all the benefits of Elderberry Syrup. My thoughts were, "Yeah. Natural IS the way to go, but only Slippery Elm heals what ails you. Its the best cure all out there." Well, my thinking has changed.

I started here and here.

Then my eldest daughter had a virus that is hard to get shed of. She talked with her Health Care Provider about anti-viral herbs. After careful research she was sent to this website. Low and behold, Elderberry is the very first one listed.

I have been a follower of Dr. Christopher and his Herbal Legacy for many years now. So off to that website I went. Elder and Elderberries are AMAZING.

You may think this is a short an not very informative blog. I can hear you now, 'If this is her come back blog post--I'm gone."

Let me explain--I am all about education and education is hard won. Research you do yourself is more readily retained. Click each of the links I have provided and do some more.

You can purchase a kit to make your own Elderberry Syrup by clicking the here:

3 of 4 quarts of Elderberry Syrup made from Beeyoutiful's kit
 and 1 quart of Elderberry tincture making from the left
over Elderberry Pulp and 100 proof Vodka.

Hashtags- #elderberry  #naturalmedicine  #herbs  #holistic  #crunchy  #healing  #health

The Making of Collard Kraut 1

Tolerance vs. Acceptance

This has actually been a long time coming. For many years I have been against tolerance.

Yes, heard the collective drawing in of everyone's breath. Please, let me explain.

Tolerance is defined as:

1:  capacity to endure pain or hardship :  endurance, fortitude, stamina

2
a :  sympathy or indulgence for beliefs or practices differing from or conflicting with one's own

b :  the act of allowing something :  toleration

Yes, this can be good. What the dictionary doesn't explain to us, is the social implications of the word. Socially tolerate conjures images of putting up with, enduring something we do not want to endure. It projects an image of, "Well, I'll tolerate this for the rest of this event." or "OMG! WHY!?"

Acceptance is defined as:

1

:  an agreeing either expressly or by conduct to the act or offer of another so that a contract is concluded and the parties become legally bound2
:  the quality or state of being accepted or acceptable3
:  the act of accepting :  the fact of being accepted :  approval

Acceptance is well, just that-acceptance.

Ask yourself, would you rather be tolerated or accepted? 

I'M ALIVE!!!!!!

WOW! I can hear all of you saying it now-those that are left. 

My life has been extremely busy, chaotic and a mish mash of chaos, ups, downs, lefts and rights. Too much to sort through enough to write about. Too confused and thinking way to much to make any of it come out in writing. 

there has been forward movement, back steps and lots of introspection. 

I am planing to start sharing again. My worries. My views on the world. My Spiritual Journey. My growth. My running from what simply has to be. My pain and sorrow. My joys. THe simple life I have finally found and revel in. 

Am I always happy? NO! And no one should be. 

Am I always blessed? Yes, just as everyone is and we just don't see it. 

Why am I up at 1:00 a.m.? Well, there are two cases of Golden Delicious apples sitting here that are just begging to be worked up into chunky applesauce. Waiting to bottle up the first batch of sugar free, creamy yellow, piece of heaven in that pot and process it. 

There is so much I want to share and so much I have planned. 

Pass the word around-CHAKWAINA IS BACK!!

The Four (Five) Agreements Installment 3 of 5

My sincere apologies for not having written this, as promised the next day after Installment 2--sometimes life gets in the way of living! As the old saying goes, "THe best laid plans of mice and men often go awry."

I have just had a lot on mind, much going on in my family and life and knitting and Family Farm Seaside have been mine distractions when not working on a pair of moccasins.

Now, on to the Third Agreement--

" Don’t make assumptions Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life."

Oh how true! How many times have you been in a pickle because someone assumed you were going to finish a sentence with something way off from what you were actually going to say? Or someone assumed your intentions instead of listening to what you spoke as your intentions?

Think about those situations. Were feelings hurt?

Now, think about the hurt feelings that have you caused by assuming.

Here is an aspect we often don't think about assumptions-we, as humans, place others in the position where they are are almost forced (they still have to decide to assume) because we did/do not speak or communicate what we want or need.

Mothers-we assume that the people in our lives-mother, mother-in-law, grandmothers, friends, siblings, spouse KNOW we need a break from the children. We never speak up. We self-talk ourselves into believing they all know and they should offer to take the children off our hands for a couple hours. They don't. We fume.

Better solution-speak up. Tell them you need a few hours alone to re-group. Then ask, "Can you please watch the children for me on Tuesday afternoon?" or "Honey, will you spend a few hours playing games with the children or watching a movie tonight? I just need a couple hours for me."

I have always been a firm believer in asking questions. My Daddy used to tell me, "ASK! All they can do is say is yes or no, they can't eat you for supper."

"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:" (Mat 7:7 KJV)
"For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened." (Mat 7:8 KJV)

"And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you." (Luk 11:9 KJV)
"For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened." (Luk 11:10 KJV)

The Four (Five) Agreements Installment 2 of 5

Yesterday I wrote about the First Agreement, you can read that blog post here. Tonight I want to explore the second agreement--

                  2. Don't take anything personally.  Nothing others do is because of you. What others say                         and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dreams. When you are immune to                         the opinions and actions of others, you won‟t be the victim of needless suffering.


You, nor i are so big or important that someone makes choices about what they do or say because of us. That's simple.

When someone insults you, think about this--they are speaking words that are their own, personal truth. It has nothing to do with you. I knew a person once that would tell me I was ugly. Not often, usually after they had a bad week. What I cam to over hear was them actually speaking to themselves-out loud, "I am so ugly." They were speaking about how they felt about the person in the mirror-not me.

Another person, very dear to me, would and still does say, "You can never make a living running your own business." As I have grown older and matured, I see so many people earning a living by running their own business. What I came to understand was this person had their own doubts & greed that caused to them to be scared. hey projected that fear out towards others.

As the old saying goes, "Misery loves company." When people have their own set of fears, doubts, concerns, need to control, insecurities and a host of other negative emotions--they project them on others.

Do not accept them as yours.

Also, when you have so-called negative emotions--work through them. Do not victimize others by projecting your emotions on others.

Not only should you think before you speak, think before you listen.

The Four (Five) Agreements First of Five Installments

Sometimes, things in your life just keep happening. You wonder, "Why?" I have come to believe it is because you have not yet learned the lesson therefore Creator God, keeps presenting it.

Recently, the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz (available here The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book) ) was given to me. I have read it in the past and it is one of those books worth reading. There is now a fifth agreement (available here The Fifth Agreement: A Practical Guide to Self-Mastery (Toltec Wisdom) ). This, i have not read, but with some research, discovered what it is.

These five simple agreements, made with ones own self, applied to your own life, are powerful. They transcend culture, nationality, religion, spirituality. They are the true reality of your own core being.

Let's explore:

1. Be impeccable with your word Speak with integrity, say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

So easy, yet so hard. We live in a society that all but demands we speak with integrity, yet at the same times we are only supposed to look a certain way, speak a certain way, think a certain way, act a certain way, have a job that pays so much, drive certain vehicles--the list is endless.

We look in the mirror at our reflection each morning as we get ready for the day and wonder how to make that illusion society wants from us a reality--or at least a believable illusion.


We begin by speaking to ourselves that we must dress to look skinny since we are not as skinny as we should be. We comb our hair into a style that will impress others around us. We tell ourselves we must use certain brands of body wash, perfume/cologne, hair products, etc. We stop at a certain coffee shop on the way to work because we must maintain the illusion we can afford it.

At work, we not only listen to the "office" gossip, we actually participate in it--even if you only listen.

This Agreement, that I believe we all should make with ourselves-tells us to speak with integrity to others and ourselves. How can you be honest with others if you are not honest with yourself?

Why do you speak "ugly" (as my Mother would say) to yourself about yourself? Creator God did make any mistakes when He made each of us. He made us in His image-therefore when we speak bad about ourselves we are putting Him down.

Ever made a mistake? So has everyone else. We tell each other, "Judge not lest you be judged!", then we start using our words against others. "Did you hear Suzy went out with that biker dude? What was she thinking?' You just judged Suzy and her date with your words. In doing so, you brought judgement upon yourself-from yourself-just wait til the drive home-you will start whispering words to yourself about every little mistake you made today.

Try speaking words of truth and love to yourself and everyone around you. Tell yourself "Good Morning!" Tell everyone you see 'Good Day." Make a positive comment, "You look nice today." After a week of this you will see such an improvement in yourself, in your attitude, in your outlook on life, in how you feel about yourself.

Consider this-[1Pe 3:10 KJV]  For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile:

[Pro 12:19 KJV]  The lip of truth shall be established for ever: but a lying tongue [is] but for a moment.
[Pro 15:4 KJV]  A wholesome tongue [is] a tree of life: but perverseness therein [is] a breach in the spirit.
[Pro 18:21 KJV]  Death and life [are] in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.
[Pro 21:23 KJV]  Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.

Thankfulness 7 January 2014

It's very cold today-has been for two days-1° or less! Needless to say anything needing to be done outside takes much less time. It is amazing how fast you can move when it's this cold! LOL

One of my daughters is trying so hard to help someone that did very ugly things to her. This person was mad that I just was-that I existed and made false reports to the state child welfare office about my daughter. Of course nothing came from it. This person now faces lies being told on them about how they care for their children.

I am grateful my child could just step in and help and provide and do for a person who so spitefully used them. I thank Creator God she sought and obeyed His guidance. That she prayed for deliverance of her enemy and reached out in His love to do His work.

Today I feel proud, loved, honored.

My gratefulness today lies in the fact that I have family and friends that truly love me. A job that is enjoyable. a new grandchild that will be here any day and another that will be in eight months. I am grateful that my pain level is bearable today and that Creator God loves me enough to teach me patience.

Spiritually I am in a good place. By no means am I "there". I have much more growing to do than I have done. I am striving to better myself Spiritually. My Spirit is at Peace.

Creator God I ask that you bless each and every person that reads this and their loved ones. You know the ones I am worried about today-keep each of them in Your loving Hands and under the umbrella of Your protection.

It has been a joy to actually see the Spiritual maturity in my child. It comforts my heart to know that if the one is growing in these ways, the others will also. Give me the patience and faith to stay out of Your way so that you may deal each of them in the ways that are needed. For we Mothers know a lot, but in our efforts to fix everything with/for our Precious Gifts from You-we can get in the way of You doing what needs doing.

Please help me to stay on track with my New Year's resolutions. Send me reminders to do my Bible study. Send me people to help. Keep your Love and Grace fore front in my mind and continually in my heart.    


Today's Bible selection:

[Lam 3:1-66 KJV] 1 I [am] the man [that] hath seen affliction by the rod of his wrath. 2 He hath led me, and brought [me into] darkness, but not [into] light. 3 Surely against me is he turned; he turneth his hand [against me] all the day. 4 My flesh and my skin hath he made old; he hath broken my bones. 5 He hath builded against me, and compassed [me] with gall and travail. 6 He hath set me in dark places, as [they that be] dead of old. 7 He hath hedged me about, that I cannot get out: he hath made my chain heavy. 8 Also when I cry and shout, he shutteth out my prayer. 9 He hath inclosed my ways with hewn stone, he hath made my paths crooked. 10 He [was] unto me [as] a bear lying in wait, [and as] a lion in secret places. 11 He hath turned aside my ways, and pulled me in pieces: he hath made me desolate. 12 He hath bent his bow, and set me as a mark for the arrow. 13 He hath caused the arrows of his quiver to enter into my reins. 14 I was a derision to all my people; [and] their song all the day. 15 He hath filled me with bitterness, he hath made me drunken with wormwood. 16 He hath also broken my teeth with gravel stones, he hath covered me with ashes. 17 And thou hast removed my soul far off from peace: I forgat prosperity. 18 And I said, My strength and my hope is perished from the LORD: 19 Remembering mine affliction and my misery, the wormwood and the gall. 20 My soul hath [them] still in remembrance, and is humbled in me. 21 This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. 22 [It is of] the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. 23 [They are] new every morning: great [is] thy faithfulness. 24 The LORD [is] my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. 25 The LORD [is] good unto them that wait for him, to the soul [that] seeketh him. 26 [It is] good that [a man] should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD. 27 [It is] good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth. 28 He sitteth alone and keepeth silence, because he hath borne [it] upon him. 29 He putteth his mouth in the dust; if so be there may be hope. 30 He giveth [his] cheek to him that smiteth him: he is filled full with reproach. 31 For the Lord will not cast off for ever: 32 But though he cause grief, yet will he have compassion according to the multitude of his mercies. 33 For he doth not afflict willingly nor grieve the children of men. 34 To crush under his feet all the prisoners of the earth, 35 To turn aside the right of a man before the face of the most High, 36 To subvert a man in his cause, the Lord approveth not. 37 Who [is] he [that] saith, and it cometh to pass, [when] the Lord commandeth [it] not? 38 Out of the mouth of the most High proceedeth not evil and good? 39 Wherefore doth a living man complain, a man for the punishment of his sins? 40 Let us search and try our ways, and turn again to the LORD. 41 Let us lift up our heart with [our] hands unto God in the heavens. 42 We have transgressed and have rebelled: thou hast not pardoned. 43 Thou hast covered with anger, and persecuted us: thou hast slain, thou hast not pitied. 44 Thou hast covered thyself with a cloud, that [our] prayer should not pass through. 45 Thou hast made us [as] the offscouring and refuse in the midst of the people. 46 All our enemies have opened their mouths against us. 47 Fear and a snare is come upon us, desolation and destruction. 48 Mine eye runneth down with rivers of water for the destruction of the daughter of my people. 49 Mine eye trickleth down, and ceaseth not, without any intermission, 50 Till the LORD look down, and behold from heaven. 51 Mine eye affecteth mine heart because of all the daughters of my city. 52 Mine enemies chased me sore, like a bird, without cause. 53 They have cut off my life in the dungeon, and cast a stone upon me. 54 Waters flowed over mine head; [then] I said, I am cut off. 55 I called upon thy name, O LORD, out of the low dungeon. 56 Thou hast heard my voice: hide not thine ear at my breathing, at my cry. 57 Thou drewest near in the day [that] I called upon thee: thou saidst, Fear not. 58 O Lord, thou hast pleaded the causes of my soul; thou hast redeemed my life. 59 O LORD, thou hast seen my wrong: judge thou my cause. 60 Thou hast seen all their vengeance [and] all their imaginations against me. 61 Thou hast heard their reproach, O LORD, [and] all their imaginations against me; 62 The lips of those that rose up against me, and their device against me all the day. 63 Behold their sitting down, and their rising up; I [am] their musick. 64 Render unto them a recompence, O LORD, according to the work of their hands. 65 Give them sorrow of heart, thy curse unto them. 66 Persecute and destroy them in anger from under the heavens of the LORD.

 

When It Rains, It Pours

This was written 28 December 2000



WHY? We all ask this question a lot. Why, before we can work through one problem, does another (or several others) crop up?

Some say it is the Devil. To be glad that he is ‘after' you. If you were not serving God, Satan would have no need to be after you.

Others say it is God. He is ‘testing' your faith. Doesn't He already know all about your faith?

Some say it is God ‘whipping' you. That you are a dis-obedient child and He is lovingly trying to get you back ‘where you should be'.

Still others say it is just part of the fall from grace.

I am not sure which of these theories is correct, if any of them are. I know I have believed each and every one of them at some point in time.

It is not good to ask ‘Why?' sometimes.

Maybe there is truth in each of these theories.

Maybe one comes into play when the others do not.

I do know God said it would rain on the bad and the good.

Maybe this is one of those questions we are not to know the answer to.

People!?

This piece was written 13 January 2001



Why do others question your decisions in your walk with God?

Is it really their business? Do they make themselves feel better by making you feel belittled? Are they trying to get God to see your faults so maybe He will lay off them??

It is so frustrating to pray and seek God's will for a situation and He tells you to do 'A' when your heart is screaming to do 'B'. You know you must submit to His grace, justice and love and obey, but you still have to deal with fear and questions.

You do something, knowing it is what God wants you to do. Knowing He has a greater thing to accomplish and what happens--those He called before you to do this, those He wanted to do it in the first place--try to make you feel like a dog.

Think before you run from God's calling. When you refuse to obey, He has to get someone else to do it in your stead. Your disobedience does affect more than just you. You may protect yourself from some pain, but you may cause pain for others.

Family

This piece was written 16 January 2001


Is blood really thicker than water? We all grow up being told it is. We all want to believe we can count our family in times of trouble, but can we?

We go through rough times and if they are Christians they will say they are praying for us. Most likely they do. Some will pray fervently and not stop until they get that prayer through to the throne room. Others will say a quick, "God help them." if they think about it.

Pretty much like your friends, some are good time buddies and some are there through thick and thin, sick and sin.

Is it that they think your troubles will rub off and they'll have problems also? Do they not want to make a sacrifice of anything? Do they think God is chastising you? Are they surface Christians? Do they think the trial will make you stronger?

OR...

Do they know they are God's arms and legs here on earth? Do they know God never wants His children to suffer? Do they know God may be chastising you, but that He answers prayer and this could be the time you hit your knees?

The Bible says that in the end times families will turn on each other... Are we living in the end times???

Of Bibles, Books & Denominations

This is something I wrote on 26 February 2001. It was previously published on a no defunct website that paid per view.


We recently met a gentleman that is a wonderful person. At least we thought so. He offered to help us out with transportation problems, taking me places when David was at work and offering to sell us his extra vehicle. We helped him gather wood and offered to help him with any chores around his homestead.

He approached his church to take up a love offering and have a clothing drive for us. We knew nothing of this and of all things did not need any clothes. I have sent a pick up load to the local food bank that gives clothes also and plan on sending more! My husband wondered how to let this church know they were not buying our "membership".

This gentleman then proceeds to let us know that only, or at least mostly, his denomination was going to Heaven. Now, I've heard of this sort of thing before but never encountered it. My personal beliefs are that man and NOT God created the different denominations. Your Godly, Christian character, your heart, your relationship with God will determine your entrance into Heaven.

The next point was that only the 1611 King James Version of the Bible is the real Bible and anyone that has ‘funny' Bibles in there home is asking for demons to come torment, oppress, and possess them. That very Bible says to study to show thyself approved. As KJV was not translated from the original languages but from other ‘versions' and knowing that something is lost in translating from one language to another, what is wrong with studying to show thyself approved?

Next came that only ‘church' is the correct place to worship God and gather with other believers. and that there has to be an ‘altar call' at each and every church service/gathering of believers. We have been fellowshipping with some Plain/Amish Christians. The Bible says not to forsake the gathering together of believers. In the early days of the Church, people met in each other's homes, caves, or wherever they could get together. Witnessing was done out. They went ‘out' to witness to those considered lost. If the altar call is to allow lost souls to pray for salvation, isn't it a moot thing if the gathering is of BELIEVERS?

God did not create the church building or denominations. He created us. He gave us His Son as atonement for our sins. He does not dictate that if you join one church or the other, that is the way to Heaven. He said we have to accept the offering of Jesus. We must confess to Him our sins. We are commanded to share the gospel with all we can.

Please, do not join the ranks of this man and loose sheep. My husband will not set foot in this particular church because of its views. My oldest daughter feels the same. My children had grown to love this gentleman and have now been hurt by him.

©Mary Ellen Harvley 2001
May not be copied or reproduced, in any way without prior permission from author.

Make an Herbal WHAT?!?

Ever get to researching on using an herbal remedy and everything you can find assumes you already know what a decoction is versus a tea?

Well, I am going to help clear that up, at least some of it. Here is a list of common ways to use herbs and how to make and use them.

Understand that different methods bring out different constituents of the plants. Do your research and know what you want to draw out of the plant. mineral salts? bitters? vitamins? volatiles?

I hope its helpful to you.

1. Cold Compress--Make an infusion or decoction (see below) let it cool off completely. Soak a cloth, preferably 100% cotton such as muslin in it. Wring it out and apply to the affected area. When the cloth becomes warm from absorbing body heat, remove and replace with another.
2. Cold Extract--In an enameled pot (make sure the enamel is intact) or glass container place 1-2 ounces of herb to each pint of water. Let this stand for 12 hours, strain and the drink is ready. Follow directions for taking an infusion (below).
3. Decoction--This method extracts mainly the mineral salts and bitters. Again, use a non metal pot (glass or enamel) The general rule for measurements is half an ounce of plant parts per cup of water. If using green (fresh) plant parts place in cold water, bring to boil, boil for 4 minutes. Remove from heat, cover and let steep 3 minutes. Hard plant parts should boil about 10 minutes and steep 5-10 minutes. Strain before drinking. 
4. Essence-Research and locate a reputable supplier of food grade essential oils. Dissolve an ounce of food grade essential oil in a pint (2 cups) of 50%/100 proof alcohol. (Personally I use cheap vodka).
5. Fomentation--Make an infusion or decoction by the above directions. Soak a cotton cloth in the hot liquid, wring out the excess and apply to the affected area. Fomentations are used similar to a poultice but are less active in effect.
6. Infusion--This is a beverage made in a way that the herbs are not exposed to heat at length. This minimizes the loss of volatile oils. Usual amounts are ½-1 ounce of herb to a pint of water. Place the herbs in a glass jar, boil water in a non-metal container and pour about a pint of boiling water over the herbs. Cover and let steep 10 minutes. Tighten the lid and place in refrigerator. For drinking, strain just before. Sometimes you can add a touch of natural sweetener (not processed sugar). Generally, an infusion should be taken lukewarm to cool, the exceptions would be when trying to induce a sweat, or break up a cold or congestion-in those instances take it hot. 
7. Juice--Chop fresh plant parts (the parts that have the constituents you need) and press to squeeze the juice out. Add a small amount of water and press again. You can purchase presses to do this with or use a juicer-I do not recommend using any electric or battery operated equipment as they heat as they are being used. The heat will cause the constituents you are trying to get-to be ruined. This is the method to use to extract the water-souble vitamins, minerals, etc. from the plant. Juice only what you are going to drink immediately. The vitamin quality declines rapidly and fermentation can set in.
8. Poultice--Bruise or crush the plant parts to mush and heat. If using dried herbs or fresh that need it, add a hot, moist binder to help hold the poultice in place such as flour, corn meal, etc. Apply directly to the skin except in the case of using irritants such as mustard or cayenne. In those instances, keep a hot, moist cotton cloth between the skin and the poultice. You can apply the poultice to piece of cotton cloth, lay it on affected area and wrap it. Keep it hot and moist by placing a cotton cloth that has been dipped in hot water and wrung out over it.
9. Ointment--There are different ways to make an ointment. In years past it was recommended to add some form of benzoin as a preservative, but due to sensitization issues, that can be short lived or permanent, it is no longer recommended. 
1. Determine the herb or mixture to be used. Mix it, in powdered form, one part herb(s) to one part lard, bear fat, coconut oil, etc. (some use petroleum jelly but as it is a by product of the crude oil industry, I personally do not recommend its use)
2. Determine the herb or mixture to be used. Boil these in pure clean water until the compounds needed have been released into the water. Strain. Add the water to olive oil, coconut oil, or another oil of your preference. Simmer gently until all water is evaporated. Add beeswax until the consistency is as you wish. 
10. Powder--Obtain the dried herb(s) you need and use a mortar and pestle or coffee grinder (not used for coffee and cleaned well between uses) to grind the dried herbs into a powder. The powder can be encapsulated in veggie caps, sprinkled on food or stirred into a beverage. 
11. Syrup--Again there is more than one way to make this:
1. Make a syrup of raw sugar and water (light, medium or heavy as needed). The water for the syrup should be a tea, infusion or decoction of the herb(s).
2. Obtain organic, local honey, pure organic syrup, agave, etc and boil the herb(s) in that. Strain.
12. Tincture--Obtain 50% grain alcohol which is 100 proof (moonshine can be bought in most states at the local liquor store but Vodka will do. I do not use Everclear as it is 190 proof so must be diluted). Place herb(s) in a glass jar (preferably brown). Lightly pack a quart jar with the herbs. Cover with alcohol. The majority of tinctures will need to be placed in a dark place for 14 days, a very, very few will need to be placed in a warm place or sunny window. Shake twice a day. At the end of 14 days, strain. Tinctures will keep for a long time, if  properly capped.

This is a basic description of some of the ways to use herbs. I hope you find it helpful. Please feel free to leave comments and please do share this posting.